Woo Hoo

Starting Weight: 301
Weight at last weigh-in: 252.2
Today's weight: 250.5
Total lost: 50.5

I made it to 50, I am so happy. Yesterday I pulled my pants down without even unbuttoning them. I actually thought I had them unbuttoned already much to my surprise, the weren't. This week has been a little hard on me as far as eating goes, but if I take it slow and don't put a lot on my plate, I'm doing much better. Can always go back for more if I need it. I'm finally figuring out how much is too much. It's weird how sometimes I can eat more than others, I guess it's not really an exact science.

New Underwear???

Starting weight 301
Last Weigh-In 260.5
Today Weigh-In 252.5
Total Lost 48.5

So I am almost to 50 pounds gone! Woo Hoo! At my last weight-in I was 40 pounds lighter. I was thrilled but not sure why I was melancholy. My bestie told me that I lost a "big toddler" and I felt much happier. Not that I would get rid of a toddler, but it was nice to know that I was a "toddler" lighter.

I made the decision that I would not go out and get new clothes every 20-30 pounds. One, it would cost us a fortune, and two, I don't want to get clothes I love and then have to go get different ones. So, right now my pants are big and sometimes I feel like a high school boy with all the sagging. My shirts are big, but I like them that way. So all in all I have been pretty happy with the clothes I have. Throw a tank top under my bigger shirts and I am all covered up.

However, my undies are a different story and I never really considered that. So today I went to go get new undies. I figure since I'm not buying new clothes, I might as well get something that doesn't make me feel like I have a load in my pants. New undergarments might be next, we'll have to see.

(I looked for pictures for sagging and undies and NONE were appropriate. So much for making my blog more "colorful".)

So Another couple weeks go by

I am still trying to figure out what I can and can't eat. Some things still go down much easier than others.

It can be frustrating at times, but then I realize I've lost 40 pounds and decide that it is all worth it.

I have been on the boards at VerticalSleeveTalk.com, it's been an education. I did some research before I underwent surgery, but really relied on my friends (whom I trust with all my heart) who had been through this or something similar. I also trusted and relied on my doctor (who is awesome). I'm not a big researcher, but will if pushed. Of course, while getting my "education" from the website, I have invented things that may have gone wrong. Nothing big mind you, but my mind plays tricks on me. I have stopped with all of that, thankfully and am feeling great.

I am also very thankful that I haven't gone through the worse of the complications that can occur. I am also thankful that none of my friends experienced any of those complications. They sound painful and disheartening.

This week has brought more of the same. I still need to get into a regular workout routine, yes I am procrastinating. But I have been doing some stuff at home, so not being a complete slug. Wish me luck on this endeavour.

Happy Fall

I am now officially on "regular" food.

So, I am confused, I could hardly wait to be on normal food again and honestly, kept trying foods that were not really on my diet (full soft diet) because I was just getting too bored with what I was "allowed" to eat. When I went through my binder class, the nutritionist said that some people were afraid to eat normal food. Not so with me, I was excited to eat something other than soup, cottage cheese, and yogurt. And although I LOVE those foods, after six weeks of it, I wanted something a bit more.

I am now on to, "soft" meats. To me this means anything that isn't dry and icky anyway. I rarely, if ever, ate dry meat pre-surgery.  However, I have found that the only "fast-food" chicken I can tolerate is Chik-Fil-A. I love their chicken strips so no worries there.

My hubby has been very supportive with my meals. He is a wonderful cook and I am happy to say, this has not changed after my surgery. He is finding healthy, protein packed meals to cook for me. He cooked a Mexican Lasagna this weekend that was wonderful. We treated it like a dip, but was awesome all the same. My children even ate left-overs, which never happens! It's too bad he isn't home more, I love that he cooks.

The last (almost) 6 weeks

So in the last six weeks I have accomplished/figured out a few things (not in any specific order):

• I am able to change my life without much ado
• Two tacos are one too many for me now
• 64 ounces of water is a lot of water after surgery (and even now)
• I didn't realize how much water I did drink before surgery
• Without that much water, CPAP machine makes me have really bad cotton mouth
• Pepsi no longer is my reason for living
• My closet is starting to have clothes that are a little big instead of  clothes that are just right or a little tight
• Jammie pants don't shrink with your waist
• Walking doesn't hurt as much when you are 30 pounds lighter
• No one thinks I actually know what I can and cannot eat
• Protein, protein, protein
• Working out is harder to do when you have a sick child at home
• My friends and family are more supportive than I thought they would be
• Don't tell children what you have had done, they have BIG mouths!!

Life goes on.......

So I am almost 3 weeks post-surgery. To be honest, I have been a hermit since my surgery. When asked if I want to go out to dinner with my family, my response is.......not really since I don't want to see them eat. I'm not really having any problems eating, but don't want to sit in a restaurant for an hour and only have soup. I am still on a soft diet which presents a problem at most restaurants. Although, I have been given some really helpful hints from my friends that have had surgery...beans and cheese at Taco Bell, who would have thought??

So back to my hermit days. So I've been staying at home and my lovely husband has been making most of my dinners and I have been muddling along.

Then comes Back To School Night. I am in charge of the school directory and have put off doing anything about it, so I must go to the school and get forms handed out to parents. I am so happy I did this, it was not centered around food (Woo Hoo) and I got to see lots of people that I haven't seen in a while. Especially one of my fellow sleevers. She gave me some awesome advice and some things help me get to my 60g of protein a day. She is also an amazing role model!!

Then comes the second Back To School Night. I tried to pawn this off to my lovely husband to no avail. The child wanted me to go with him, and I really do deal with most things school related. Again, very happy I got roped into this too. Lots more people that I hadn't seen in a while and lots more teachers met.

So even after three weeks, life really does go on. It's nice to know, but a little disheartening, since I was hoping everyone was floundering without me. Oh well, I'm getting back into the swing of life and still working on getting the water and protein I need daily.

2 weeks and trudging along

So now that my computer has been fixed (thanks to my lovely husband!!) I am able to continue my updates.

Week 1 was harder than expected. I was amazed at the pain around the drain site. I was expecting a gaping wound when the bandage was taken off, and being on blood thinners, I was afraid I would bleed out all over the doctor when he removed it. To my surprise and amazement, I did not bleed out and it is actually only an incision about an inch long even though it felt like the size of the Grand Canyon. After the bandage came off, I felt amazingly better. I'm able to lie on my right side in bed, walk, get in and out of the car, etc. without holding my side.

Eating has been an adventure in itself. Trying to get to my 60 grams of protein and 64 oz of water had been challenging. Doc scolded me at my 2 week (actually 1 1/2 week) checkup. I hadn't been keeping track of either and need to do both diligently! I've been better the last several days and working on getting it all down.

I'm thrilled with the results so far. I have not been to the gym yet, going to work on that next week, but am able to walk around Target (Woo Hoo). I'm getting winded a little faster right now, but I know it will get better. I am also able to wear some shirts I haven't been able to in several years. So far so good!!!

Day 3

Well, the euphoria (and Morphine) has worn off a little, and the pain has started.  It's still actually better than I had anticipated. Lots of pain around drain site, but other areas are better, I'm still trying to get up and walk every couple of hours. It tends to be harder at home, but still making an effort.

Day 1

Well, lived through it. Had my surgery at about 9:15 the morning.  I've been in and out all day, still a little loopy with pain meds. The doc found a hernia and fixed it. That's what hurts the most. Will write more later, did I mention I'm still loopy? ;)

I've been told I can do it.....

It's 2 days until my surgery (well really 38 hours) and I am almost 2 days into my clear liquid diet. I have never had the "opportunity" to enjoy a clear liquid diet, and hopefully will never have to again. My darling husband found a recipe online that incorporated chicken broth with veggies and when strained is still good for the diet.

I have been through a lot of emotions in the last two days and I know I will go through more in the next 38 hours. My friends and family have really been there for me. I have limited who I have told since I'm not sure how people will look at this step in my life. I really hate the stories of peoples reaction to the news that someone is have gastric surgery. I feel that as long as that person knows what they are getting into, I will be there to support them anyway I can. I cannot tolerate that anyone would feel the need to make a person, who has already been struggling with a decision, less of a person just because it is not the decision they would make. (Enough of my soap box)

Last night, after 4 cups of broth and countless glasses of water, I was feeling very sloshy and my husband was making dinner. I retired to my room so my family could eat and I would not be "tempted" with the food my husband had prepared. (BTW did I mention my husband cooks - and very well.) I was having a pity party all by myself, so my husband came up to get me out of my funk. I told him I was ready to cancel the surgery that it was too hard. He gave me a pep talk and convinced me that I could actually do it. I also have a great support system of a friend that had gastric bypass and my best friend that have been telling me all day that it will be over soon. I just need to remember why I am doing this.

Thank you to all of my friends and family (that know) for their support. I hope all of you out there that are having a surgical procedure has the support I do.

16,135 days down, 4 days to go

So I've been thinking this week about when I became "fat". My decision is my whole life. At least this is my perception, whether it is true or not.

My earliest memory of weight being an issue is in elementary school. I went to a K-8 elementary school and was in 6th grade before I heard from other children that I was fat. Looking back, I am pretty sure it was because the boy like me, but really, how was I to know that. Everyone looked like I did. I never really dwelled on it and went on with life.

In high school, I was never as thin as my friends, or at lest some of them. But was still seen as fat. Again, I had enough confidence in myself that I didn't really worry about it. I had friends, boyfriends, etc., and didn't have people making fun of me. I saw what others saw and never thought again about it. My prom dress was a size 9. Really?!? I wish I was that "fat" now.

Now summers were a different matter. I visited my father and step-mother one summer and she was pregnant. Well I ate when she ate and gained about 25 pounds. I lost that when I went back to school, eating very little. I was never one to throw up and I loved to eat, so bulimia and anorexia were out of the question.

Fast forward to college. I was very active, not working out, but walking all over campus all day long. Too worried about classes, my degree, and working to worry about eating too much.

Over the years I have slowly put on weight. Then enter husband and the desire to want children. (See previous post)

So here I am 16,135 days old and 4 days until I start my new life.

I am exctied, nervous, thrilled, worried, and uncertain of the future. I know I have support from my doctor's office, group therapy (which I haven't started yet), family, friends, and blogger friends. So far, it's been nerve racking the closer it gets to the day of surgery. I keep thinking things through to an extreme.

Today I am off to get chewable and/or liquid vitamins for post-surgery. Also going to start packing my bag for the hospital.

My History

I have never been delusional about my weight. I am overweight and I have never looked back. I have always been realistic and not let my weight control what I do or what how I feel. I have had weight control issues my entire adult life.

I have tried fad diets, non-fad diets, Weight Watchers, South Beach, among many others. I was just resigned to the fact that I was fat and I'd have to live with it.

I became pregnant after two and a half years of trying. Finding out I had gall bladder issues while I was pregnant I had to go on another diet. With the restricted diet and nausea associated with pregnancy, I got down to the weight I was in high school after delivery of my first child. Eventually I gained most of the weight back.

A year and a half later, I became pregnant with my second child. Once again, I lost the weight I had gained during that time. Once my second child was born, I started having a mild case of post-pardum depression. I regained all the weight I lost plus extra.

Again, I was "okay" with my weight figuring that there was nothing I could do. After talking to my OG/GYN, I found out I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome).  Finding out I had PCOS, I realized I was not a failure at dieting, but I had an endocrine problem.

The moment of truth came when the family went to Elich Gardens and my children wanted to go on a ride which required and adult to go with them. My daughter had to forgo the ride because I couldn't fit in the seat and fasten the belt. That was the moment I decided I needed to do something about my wieght.

In April, after 5+ years of researching and debating, I opted for Sleeve Gastrectomy. I was uncomfortable with Gastrointestinal Bypass and the LAP Band, so this seemed like a logical choice.

So far I have had so many emotions I have not been able to put them into words, so here I will try.

Overweight or Undertall

Garfield has always said that he is not overweight just under tall.  Although he is a cartoon character, this has been my motto until I decided to have a Sleeve Gasterctomy (Gastrointestinal Surgery). This is my journey, therapy sessions, and general whining outlet. I hope this account helps me and those who may read it.