Friday, August 31, 2012

Life goes on.......

So I am almost 3 weeks post-surgery. To be honest, I have been a hermit since my surgery. When asked if I want to go out to dinner with my family, my response is.......not really since I don't want to see them eat. I'm not really having any problems eating, but don't want to sit in a restaurant for an hour and only have soup. I am still on a soft diet which presents a problem at most restaurants. Although, I have been given some really helpful hints from my friends that have had surgery...beans and cheese at Taco Bell, who would have thought??

So back to my hermit days. So I've been staying at home and my lovely husband has been making most of my dinners and I have been muddling along.

Then comes Back To School Night. I am in charge of the school directory and have put off doing anything about it, so I must go to the school and get forms handed out to parents. I am so happy I did this, it was not centered around food (Woo Hoo) and I got to see lots of people that I haven't seen in a while. Especially one of my fellow sleevers. She gave me some awesome advice and some things help me get to my 60g of protein a day. She is also an amazing role model!!

Then comes the second Back To School Night. I tried to pawn this off to my lovely husband to no avail. The child wanted me to go with him, and I really do deal with most things school related. Again, very happy I got roped into this too. Lots more people that I hadn't seen in a while and lots more teachers met.

So even after three weeks, life really does go on. It's nice to know, but a little disheartening, since I was hoping everyone was floundering without me. Oh well, I'm getting back into the swing of life and still working on getting the water and protein I need daily.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

2 weeks and trudging along

So now that my computer has been fixed (thanks to my lovely husband!!) I am able to continue my updates.

Week 1 was harder than expected. I was amazed at the pain around the drain site. I was expecting a gaping wound when the bandage was taken off, and being on blood thinners, I was afraid I would bleed out all over the doctor when he removed it. To my surprise and amazement, I did not bleed out and it is actually only an incision about an inch long even though it felt like the size of the Grand Canyon. After the bandage came off, I felt amazingly better. I'm able to lie on my right side in bed, walk, get in and out of the car, etc. without holding my side.

Eating has been an adventure in itself. Trying to get to my 60 grams of protein and 64 oz of water had been challenging. Doc scolded me at my 2 week (actually 1 1/2 week) checkup. I hadn't been keeping track of either and need to do both diligently! I've been better the last several days and working on getting it all down.

I'm thrilled with the results so far. I have not been to the gym yet, going to work on that next week, but am able to walk around Target (Woo Hoo). I'm getting winded a little faster right now, but I know it will get better. I am also able to wear some shirts I haven't been able to in several years. So far so good!!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Day 3

Well, the euphoria (and Morphine) has worn off a little, and the pain has started.  It's still actually better than I had anticipated. Lots of pain around drain site, but other areas are better, I'm still trying to get up and walk every couple of hours. It tends to be harder at home, but still making an effort.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Day 1

Well, lived through it. Had my surgery at about 9:15 the morning.  I've been in and out all day, still a little loopy with pain meds. The doc found a hernia and fixed it. That's what hurts the most. Will write more later, did I mention I'm still loopy? ;)

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I've been told I can do it.....

It's 2 days until my surgery (well really 38 hours) and I am almost 2 days into my clear liquid diet. I have never had the "opportunity" to enjoy a clear liquid diet, and hopefully will never have to again. My darling husband found a recipe online that incorporated chicken broth with veggies and when strained is still good for the diet.

I have been through a lot of emotions in the last two days and I know I will go through more in the next 38 hours. My friends and family have really been there for me. I have limited who I have told since I'm not sure how people will look at this step in my life. I really hate the stories of peoples reaction to the news that someone is have gastric surgery. I feel that as long as that person knows what they are getting into, I will be there to support them anyway I can. I cannot tolerate that anyone would feel the need to make a person, who has already been struggling with a decision, less of a person just because it is not the decision they would make. (Enough of my soap box)

Last night, after 4 cups of broth and countless glasses of water, I was feeling very sloshy and my husband was making dinner. I retired to my room so my family could eat and I would not be "tempted" with the food my husband had prepared. (BTW did I mention my husband cooks - and very well.) I was having a pity party all by myself, so my husband came up to get me out of my funk. I told him I was ready to cancel the surgery that it was too hard. He gave me a pep talk and convinced me that I could actually do it. I also have a great support system of a friend that had gastric bypass and my best friend that have been telling me all day that it will be over soon. I just need to remember why I am doing this.

Thank you to all of my friends and family (that know) for their support. I hope all of you out there that are having a surgical procedure has the support I do.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

16,135 days down, 4 days to go

So I've been thinking this week about when I became "fat". My decision is my whole life. At least this is my perception, whether it is true or not.

My earliest memory of weight being an issue is in elementary school. I went to a K-8 elementary school and was in 6th grade before I heard from other children that I was fat. Looking back, I am pretty sure it was because the boy like me, but really, how was I to know that. Everyone looked like I did. I never really dwelled on it and went on with life.

In high school, I was never as thin as my friends, or at lest some of them. But was still seen as fat. Again, I had enough confidence in myself that I didn't really worry about it. I had friends, boyfriends, etc., and didn't have people making fun of me. I saw what others saw and never thought again about it. My prom dress was a size 9. Really?!? I wish I was that "fat" now.

Now summers were a different matter. I visited my father and step-mother one summer and she was pregnant. Well I ate when she ate and gained about 25 pounds. I lost that when I went back to school, eating very little. I was never one to throw up and I loved to eat, so bulimia and anorexia were out of the question.

Fast forward to college. I was very active, not working out, but walking all over campus all day long. Too worried about classes, my degree, and working to worry about eating too much.

Over the years I have slowly put on weight. Then enter husband and the desire to want children. (See previous post)

So here I am 16,135 days old and 4 days until I start my new life.

I am exctied, nervous, thrilled, worried, and uncertain of the future. I know I have support from my doctor's office, group therapy (which I haven't started yet), family, friends, and blogger friends. So far, it's been nerve racking the closer it gets to the day of surgery. I keep thinking things through to an extreme.

Today I am off to get chewable and/or liquid vitamins for post-surgery. Also going to start packing my bag for the hospital.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

My History

I have never been delusional about my weight. I am overweight and I have never looked back. I have always been realistic and not let my weight control what I do or what how I feel. I have had weight control issues my entire adult life.

I have tried fad diets, non-fad diets, Weight Watchers, South Beach, among many others. I was just resigned to the fact that I was fat and I'd have to live with it.

I became pregnant after two and a half years of trying. Finding out I had gall bladder issues while I was pregnant I had to go on another diet. With the restricted diet and nausea associated with pregnancy, I got down to the weight I was in high school after delivery of my first child. Eventually I gained most of the weight back.

A year and a half later, I became pregnant with my second child. Once again, I lost the weight I had gained during that time. Once my second child was born, I started having a mild case of post-pardum depression. I regained all the weight I lost plus extra.

Again, I was "okay" with my weight figuring that there was nothing I could do. After talking to my OG/GYN, I found out I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome).  Finding out I had PCOS, I realized I was not a failure at dieting, but I had an endocrine problem.

The moment of truth came when the family went to Elich Gardens and my children wanted to go on a ride which required and adult to go with them. My daughter had to forgo the ride because I couldn't fit in the seat and fasten the belt. That was the moment I decided I needed to do something about my wieght.

In April, after 5+ years of researching and debating, I opted for Sleeve Gastrectomy. I was uncomfortable with Gastrointestinal Bypass and the LAP Band, so this seemed like a logical choice.

So far I have had so many emotions I have not been able to put them into words, so here I will try.

Overweight or Undertall

Garfield has always said that he is not overweight just under tall.  Although he is a cartoon character, this has been my motto until I decided to have a Sleeve Gasterctomy (Gastrointestinal Surgery). This is my journey, therapy sessions, and general whining outlet. I hope this account helps me and those who may read it.